System Function — The Internal World (Rowan)
So I referenced the internal world when I was writing Jimmy’s introduction and said I’d explain it. Then left it half a week. Oops. The internal world is basically how we all interact and how life is set out for us mentally. Not every system will have one, but a lot of systems do. A good example of this is in the movie Split (a phrase I never thought I would say when talking about a dissociative disorder) when the system refers to ‘the light’. When one of the alters steps into the light, that’s when they’re fronting, and everyone else is waiting their turn.
It’s sort of similar for us, I guess. Our system basically has a house for an internal world. We each have our own room (in Anthony’s case he has a cage in a room, both of which have about fifty locks on them) and there’s a communal space too. We mainly hang out in the communal space, there’s armchairs etc to sort of lounge in when we’re not fronting. In the communal space we can ‘see’ what each other actually looks like and have ‘physical’ (obviously not actually physical but you get what I mean) interactions. So Jimmy can wander up to Elijah and have a hug, Lucas can punch me, etc etc. Being able to ‘see’ each other is helpful for keeping an eye on how everyone’s doing, especially with Elijah’s eating disorder. It also sort of helps with dysphoria and the small amount of dysmorphia we get, particularly on Kit’s part. We can reassure each other that we don’t actually look like the body (except for Lucas, of course, but he internally presents as his ideal self so we just reassure him that he’s getting there) and that can be great. It can also seriously suck, but usually it’s great.
Our equivalent of ‘the light’ is a particular sofa. It’s a three-seater and whoever is in the middle seat is the one who’s fronting. We used to have a remote, but that got complicated in co-conscious fronting situations (waaaaay too many fights) so we’ve delegated it to just the sofa. Others can sit on either side of the person that’s fronting if they want to be co-consciousiously fronting, or if the person fronting just needs some support. Anyone who’s in the communal area can be an influence, as whoever is in the communal area is conscious to some extent, but it’s the people on the sofa who have control.
Our rooms are for when we go dormant. Being dormant is a very temporary thing and can last anywhere from a few hours to months. No one can go in someone else’s room. The only person who isn’t technically allowed to use their room is Lucas, because if he goes dormant then the rest of us kind of freak out a bit. But occasionally, it can be negotiated for Lucas to go into his room for a few hours, usually if there’s an argument and everyone needs to cool off.
I think that covers everything? If anyone thinks of something I missed, they’ll come back and edit it later, or bug me until I do it. I’ll only be doing one more post today, and then Lucas wants to get back to his other blog because he’s now running three weeks behind on a post he was meant to do.
